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Monday, January 26, 2015


Originally written by myself on June 19, 2010.

I've never been that interested in sports. 

There's lots of people who are incredibly gung-ho about sporting events. The Stanley Cup finals. The World Series. Recently, everyone seems to be crazy about the World Cup of Soccer (or football if you happen to live outside of North America). 

I don't like to use stereotypes to describe a particular scenario, but as a person who was born male, it almost seems as though it's "expected" that I automatically like every single sport out there. Baseball, NASCAR, Synchronized Swimming. If it involves sports of any kind on ESPN, TSN, or even SPIKE-TV, I should be interested. 

But, again. I'm not. 

Even as far back as I can remember, I never showed much of an interest in physical activity (which could explain why I was the huskiest one of all in school). I would never read the Sports page of a newspaper, I was bored to tears by Sports Illustrated magazine, and I only bought high school football tickets as a way to get out of class early. To me, sports were just one of those interests that never really applied to me. 

That's not to say that I avoided sports like the plague. In elementary school, I did play in a few lunch hour games, but mostly they were in sports that I could do, like floor hockey, or volleyball. I studied karate as a pre-teen. And, I used to be a pretty good bowler back in the day. I even took part in the 2009 Bowling for Miracles tournament through work. So, I'm not overall anti-sports. 

But, I think that was the key to it all. The only sports that I liked were the sports that I could do without a whole lot of effort. I was pretty good at spiking a volleyball, and my husky size as a kid meant that I was the perfect goalie for floor hockey. 

Unfortunately, that's where my sports skills end. 

I can't dribble to save my life in a game of basketball, though I could spell horse faster than any other kid. When I wasn't missing the ball in baseball, it was making contact with my face. And don't even get me started on track and field. Can't shot put. Can't hurdle. Can't triple jump. Heck, even a double jump is a stretch. 

I guess my lack of athletic talent kind of rubbed off on my ability to care about sports. If I couldn't do them, why should I care about athletes who could? I mean, sure, athletes could make a lot of money playing the game. Michael Jordan took it one step further and endorsed hot dogs, sneakers and tighty-whities for serious cash. But, again, Michael Jordan also had years of training and and success. Me...well, I eat hot dogs and wear underwear and sneakers...yay me. 

I guess I can also see how athletes are glorified because they do put a lot of effort and passion into the game. Lots of kids want to be professional basketball players or pitchers for the MLB. I just wasn't one of them. 

I was the worst athlete in my class. I very well could have been the worst athlete in my school. It used to bother me in high school, seeing the jocks of the school getting all these perks. Athletic banquets. Football scholarships, the whole nine yards. But, now that I look back on it, I'm not bothered by the slightest. Those jocks found something that they were skilled at and used it to their advantage. Nothing wrong with that at all. 

Just like in my case, I happen to be skilled in writing down my thoughts and coming up with occasional zingers. I'm sure that if I work hard enough, I could be a success as an author, have a career in motivational speaking or advertising...maybe even become the next Jeff Dunham or George Lopez. 

To think that there were a couple of people in my life who told me that it wasn't 'macho' to not care about sports. To me, being macho is finding something you're good at and making a success out of it. Sports just aren't my thing. But, luckily, I've found something that is. 

And, if you wanna call me fumblethumbs, go right ahead. I wear it like a badge of honour. 

Or, at least a bronze at the Olympic ceremonies.

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