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Monday, November 03, 2014

Price is Right Games I Never Want To Play

Hello everybody, and welcome to Tube Talk...Monday!

Yeah, the "YOU NEVER NOVEMBER WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET" month continues as I rearrange the order of all the theme days all month long.  And the best part is that every day will be a surprise as you will not know what the theme of the day will be.

(Well, except on Tuesdays, which will remain the same for the month.)

So, yes.  Today in the blog, we're going to be talking about television shows.  And, in this edition, we're going to be focusing on a particular game show that has aired for over 40 years.

I have made it no secret that one of my ambitions in my life is to appear as a contestant on a game show.  I hope to make that happen one day.  I wouldn't even care if I won or lost.  Just the experience of being on a game show would be enough to cross that moment off of my bucket list once and for all. 

Of course, if I were to lose, I would not want to be a situation where everyone completely mopped the floor with me, and the host was forced to give me cash just so I wouldn't feel so bad being the victim of a crushing and embarrassing defeat.

Anyway, one game show that I think that I would do very well in would be "The Price is Right".  Certainly it is a show that I have loved since I was a little boy watching it with my grandmother many years ago.  And, yes, I admit that I have talked about this show a couple of times in this blog before.  But the one good thing about "The Price is Right" is that the show is so versatile that I could absolutely do a different article on the show for all seven days in the week.

Don't worry though.  I wouldn't do that to you.

No, I only plan on talking about this show once this week.  And, this is a topic that I have given a lot of thought to.

I thought about what could happen if I were ever chosen to be a contestant on "The Price is Right".  I probably would have a fair chance of getting chosen as a contestant (well, provided that I was actually in the California area).  And my years in retail would likely give me enough of an advantage to probably bid correctly to get out of contestants row.

My main concern becomes the pricing game that I would be playing. 

Did you know that as of November 2014, there are 75 current games that are played on the program?  Given that each episode of the game show features six of the seventy-five games, it is likely that each game will be played at least once a month.  Others would be played once a week.  I suppose the choices of the games depends on the popularity of the game, the percentage of contestants who win the game, the amount of time it takes to play the game, and the cash value of each of the prizes available to be won in each game.  For instance, a game like "Golden Road" would only be played once (the grand prize usually is around the hundred thousand mark), while a game like "One Wrong Price" could be played as many as six times a month (the game takes thirty seconds to play and offers el cheapo prizes).

Now, there are some games that I would absolutely love to play.  I know the odds of playing "Plinko" and winning are slim, but I would love the chance to drop the chips down that board.  I would totally kick butt on "The Clock Game".  And statistically speaking, "Shell Game" is one of the easiest games to win - therefore it would be one of the games that I would want to play.

My biggest nightmare would be playing a game that I would NOT want to play at all...and I guarantee you that if I were faced with the following six games to play, I would more than likely suffer a humiliating loss and be forced to settle for my consolation prizes of V8 Juice, Starburst Fruit Chews, and underwear from Fruit of the Loom.

(Not that I would mind stuff like that.  I like and use all three of those things.  But why go on a game show to win stuff I could buy at Walmart when I could win something unbelievable?)

Okay, so this is my own personal list of six pricing games that I would NOT want to play if I were to become a contestant on "The Price is Right".


This is one of those games that is more fun to watch than I assume it is to play.

The object of the game is that you have four different prizes that are up for grabs.  And you have four different price tags that correspond to each item.  You have 45 seconds to match the price tags to the items.  When you have them in position, you pull a lever to see how many you have right.  At the end of 45 seconds, the contestant wins whatever prizes are correct - or if they match all four correctly before time runs out.  Whichever comes first.

Now, as a kid watching this game, I loved it.  It was fun to see people speeding around the stage and the background music was always fun to listen to (though I miss the old days when the show used the William Tell Overture instead of that 1880s era saloon music they now play).  But as someone who admittedly gets winded running at any speed, this game is one big epic fail.

Also see "Bonkers" as another runner-up game similar to "Race Game".


This game is designed to do one thing.  Play mind games with you. 

You are presented a wonderful prize of a car.  Then you are presented with four gifts.  The digits of the gifts can be used to guess the price of the car.  After all the digits are chosen, you have to make a huge choice.  Would the small gifts tempt you enough to take those instead of the car?  Or do you turn your back on a sure thing and go for the car (which depends on how well you have chosen the digits in the price of the car)?

Honestly, I hate watching this game as a television viewer.  I find it extremely stressful to watch contestants go for the car only to lose it by one wrong number.  Could you imagine the stress I would feel if I actually played this game on stage?  My only hope would be if two of the gifts were a bed and a toilet because after I throw up, I would pass out from stress.  Temptation is one game I would rather not play.


You know that game where you have five Disneyland sized keys, with one unlocking all three prize locks, three of them unlocking one individual lock, and one unlocking nothing because the key cutter fell asleep at the key cutting station?  Yeah.  I despise this game.

For one, the way you earn keys is simple...or so you think.  You are given a prize like a microwave, and you have two digits, like say, a one and a seven.  You have to decide whether the price is $17 or $71.  And obviously, the choice would be $71, because whoever heard of a seventeen dollar microwave?

The problem with Master Key is the fact that the method to earning keys is not as obvious as the example I have provided.  The price tags are so close to each other in number that it really could be either value.  I have seen people play the game and not earn a single key.  It is also one of the games that has a higher percentage of losing contestants than winning least that is how it seems watching it on television.  I think I would lock myself in a room if I had to be faced with playing Master Key.


Okay, maybe some of you who are of an older generation might know this...but didn't this game used to be called "FOUR CHOICES" at one time?  I somehow seem to remember it being called that when Bob Barker still hosted the show. 

Either way, this game should be an easy one to win.  You guess the prices of four items to win a choice of one of the five price tags attached to a car.  Only one price is right, but with a potential 4 out of 5 shots to guess the right price, you have an 80% chance to win the car. 

But here is where the sadistic twist comes into play.  Sure it's easy to guess whether a price is higher or lower than $80.  But trying to guess whether $80 is a true price or a false price?  How evil.

5.  1/2 OFF

You know, it is never easy to win a pricing game when money is the top prize.  Why do you think that Plinko, Punch-A-Bunch, and Check Game are some of the harder games to get a perfect score in?  But at the very least they are fun to watch...and honestly, I would be fine playing any of the games listed up above.

But 1/2 Off?  It is one confusing game.  The idea is that you have sixteen different coloured boxes numbered 1-16.  One box contains ten thousand dollars.  To increase your odds of winning, you have three chances to eliminate half the boxes by guessing which one out of a pair of items is exactly half the price that it is originally.  If you win all three chances, you can decrease the number of boxes from sixteen all the way to two.

The sad thing is that in this game, you can do everything right and STILL LOSE by picking the wrong box.  I don't like games of chance, and 1/2 Off is the ultimate middle finger of sorts for people who happen to choose incorrectly. 


Yeah.  I don't golf.  In order to make this game fair for me, it would have to be renamed Hole in Eighty-Four.

Enough said.

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