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Friday, November 28, 2014

With This Ring, I Thee...Cheat? (A Flashback Edition)

Hello, everyone!  I know that everyone is probably busy with Black Friday events, and getting discounted televisions and then going to the emergency room immediately afterwards to get your broken arm set in a cast.  So, today, I decided that I wouldn't write a new blog today.

No, for today, I thought I would take a trip through the archives to see if there was anything that I wrote long before this blog existed that might garner some interest.  Turns out, I found an entry from three and a half years ago that upon reading it again was worth reposting.

Fair warning...this entry is from May 19, 2011 - five days before this blog began.  And the references might seem very dated.  But my opinions remain the same.  Hope you enjoy!

I'm wondering if anyone really believes in the idea of marriage these days. Lately in the news, it seems that more and more marriages are busting up amidst dozens of accusations of mishandling finances, irreconcilable differences, and adultery, adultery, adultery!

The recent scandal surrounding actor and former governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger is just one of the many examples of this. Unless you've been hiding under a rock, or don't subscribe to cable television or newspapers, here's the story. Schwarzenegger has apparently been married to Maria Shriver for a quarter of a century. They have had four children together. Unfortunately, Mr. Schwarzenegger had publicly admitted to fathering a fifth child with a woman who served as the family housekeeper for two decades. Worse still, the housekeeper and Maria Shriver gave birth roughly one week apart to Arnold's sons, basically confirming the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger smashed his wedding vows the same way one would take a baseball bat to a collection of fine china.

Granted, Schwarzenegger is not an isolated case, especially in the world of the richest and most famous people. Donald Trump cheated on his wife Ivana, and ended up marrying his mistress, only for that marriage to collapse. Jesse James practically humiliated Sandra Bullock after his duplicitous ways were revealled. And, don't even get me started on Tiger 'she's attacking me with a golf club' Woods.

And, it's not just below the iconic, yet terribly tacky Hollywood sign that all this infidelity lurks. With the divorce rate for all new marriages being approximately half, it's pretty much a given that in a few of those break-ups, cheating was the main deal-breaker.

In case you haven't guessed, the tone I have been exhibiting throughout this note has been a bit prickly. Of course, that's mainly because I don't really have much of a high opinion of people who do exactly that in the first place.

I guess I can see some circumstances where some people may feel a need to cheat. People in abusive relationships...yeah, I could see why they would try to find someone who would treat them better. Might not be the way that I would go if I was in a situation like that, and I certainly wouldn't openly advocate it, but I suppose it would be understandable.

The way Schwarzenegger went about it? Uncool. The way Jesse James went about it? Uncool. The way Tiger Woods get the idea.

You know who I feel really terrible for in the Schwarzenegger case? Naturally, you'd expect some sympathy to go towards Maria Shriver. I mean, she found out in probably one of the most humiliating ways possible. Who wouldn't feel for her? My opinion is that she'll come out of this just fine. She's beautiful, intelligent, and epitomizes class in everything she does. She'll not only bounce back from this with her head held high, but I have a feeling that she'll be able to find happiness again very quickly.

What about the housekeeper in question? Should I feel any sort of sympathy for her? Sadly, I have to say no. She knew full well what pot to stir when she got involved with the Terminator and ended up popping out a Junior of her own. But, hey...the media is having a field day with this story, and whether she likes it or not, her face is splashed over every magazine, webpage, and television entertainment show in the continent. I hope she enjoys the ride of publicity, because she ain't getting off of it anytime soon.

We won't even get into how I feel about Arnold. His “Judgment Day” is here. Bet he wishes he had an eraser to wipe the slate clean now that his dirty knickers are all out for all to talk about.

No, the real victim in all of this is the child that he fathered with the housekeeper. He certainly didn't ask to be born into the biggest Hollywood scandal of 2011. He's just a kid. I wish the media would treat him as such and not let him be scrutinized over this because he's really the one who is going to be the most affected by this story.

All because the former Governor of California couldn't keep it in his pants.

Oh, sure...sometimes people forgive their spouses temptations of the forbidden fruit. Former American president William Jefferson Clinton (who you know better as Bill) was busted for his torrid love affair with blue frock obsessed Monica Lewinsky, and Hillary managed to stand by her man. Of course, Clinton never withdrew from his own personal sperm bank to make a deposit in a Lewinsky savings plan, so that may have had something to do with it.

I just wonder why people seem to treat marriage as nothing more than a convenience these days? It almost seems like many people don't seem to take their vows seriously in this day and age.

I understand that marriages for whatever reason can grow stale after a while, and sometimes couples just drift apart. It's not anyone's fault if the parties mutually agree to split. It happens. It's when one person decides to hurt the other person by embarking on a destructive path of affairs that the whole thing becomes a little more one-sided and a lot more shameful.

I don't know...maybe I'm just rambling here, but I guess I've always seen marriage as the ultimate show of commitment and love for someone else you want to be with for the rest of your life. This view might seem old-fashioned to some people, and maybe it is. I'm far from being a man who has a life that is incredibly traditional in nature. Heck, I'd be the first to admit that getting married in Reno or Vegas by some middle-aged man dressed like Wayne Newton is definitely a possible option for me should I choose to get married at all. To me, the physical location doesn't matter. Whether it be the Arc du Triomphe in Paris, the Plaza Hotel in New York City, or the McDonald's restaurant on around the corner, that means nothing to me.

Well, okay, I wouldn't choose the McDonald's as I don't want my wedding reception to be in a place that smells of fry grease and Big Macs.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...if ever I do get married, I'd like to hope that the only way that we'd ever break-up is if one of us dies. Hence the popular wedding vow “til death us do part”. At the very least, if the marriage wasn't meant to be, I'd like to think it would be because neither of us would cheat on each other.  Because, if I had a relationship break down because I was cheated on, I would feel incredibly betrayed.  I'm sure people who have been cheated on feel the same way.

I'll just put it out there right now. If someone finds me cool enough to want to marry me, I would NEVER break my vows.
Why? I would write my own vows. And, I always taught myself to be absolutely truthful in everything I write. When I write these notes here, I put everything into them. They're basically me on a pixelated web-page. When you read anything I've ever written, they come from the heart. The mind. Sometimes, they come from feelings of anger. Sometimes, pure happiness. But, that's who I am.

The reason I'd want to write my own vows to someone I would want to marry isn't to promote myself as a writer, nor is it a way to upstage the priest conducting the ceremony. It's one way I can tell my future spouse just how much I would be there for them through it all. It's probably one of the best things that one can do for their partner. By writing my own vows, I can make my own promises to the other person in my own words with what my heart is telling me.

Maybe if other people chose to write their own vows...quite possibly, they'd take them more seriously.

Maybe it's just me though.

MWT - 5/19/2011

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