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Monday, November 10, 2014

The World of Final Fantasy Is Strange...

"YOU NEVER NOVEMBER WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET" month continues with a throwback to the video game feature that I used to write when this blog first began.

I admit that I do miss writing entries about video games.  I don't really consider myself to be one of those hard core gamers who stands in line outside of EB Games for the latest game, or who stays up for twelve hours straight playing World of Warcraft.  But back in the day, I was certainly exposed to many different video games and video game systems.

Certainly when I was younger, one of my favourite video game series was "Final Fantasy".  There was just something about the Final Fantasy series that I enjoyed a lot.  Exploring new worlds.  Discovering new treasures.  Solving challenging puzzles.  Jabbing creepy monsters with pointy things in the hopes of increasing your bank account.

No, seriously.  In the worlds of Final Fantasy, every single living creature carries a wallet filled with gold.  Humans, animals, even plant life!  Kind of makes me wonder when I have ever seen a mutated vine plant shopping at Target.

But you know, the Final Fantasy world is a rather complicated one, and that is the subject of today's posting.

I've gone through the first ten games released in the series (I refuse to acknowledge the games released after Final Fantasy X because to me, they simply haven't measured up to the older games) to bring you some interesting facts about the worlds of Final Fantasy.

Let's put it this way.  If you tried some of the things in our world that some of the characters of Final Fantasy have done in theirs, you would be arrested, beat up, or murdered.

So, what can you do in Final Fantasy that you can't do in the real world?  Lots of things.

In most cases, you battle a series of monsters or corrupted humans in order to progress through the game.  And sometimes, you end up losing your life during some of these battles.  But nobody gets left behind.  Why you could carry your dead friends with you the whole game, and not one of them would show signs of decomposition!

But sometimes, you can fight ordinary household objects.  You can fight a series of baby dolls.

Or one giant doll.

Or a gigantic wall.

Or a bunch of beautiful flowers.

Or even the container that you can put beautiful flowers in.

But of course, once you get into towns, you are usually in a safe zone.  This town is the perfect place to bring your pet...beast.

And, apparently it is also a great place to take your clothes off inside of a public eatery.

Oh, yeah...don't worry about the people in town.  Not only do they keep their doors unlocked, but you can engage people in conversations despite the fact that you just broke into their house.

And, hey, while you're inside, why not ransack their living space?

Well, okay.  Some residents don't quite trust you with their treasure chests, and they hide monsters inside to guard them.

But speaking of treasures, the homes of the good townspeople are not the only places where they can be found.  They can be found outside...and surprisingly, what some might consider to be useless items, in the world of Final Fantasy, they are worth more than their weight in gold.

(The "Eyedrop" for example heals blindness.)

But again, you can find treasures in an abandoned prison.

Or in the middle of a cave.

Or, even in the stomach of a deadly demon dragon.  Ugh...would you want a treasure that is covered in digestive juices?

Now, when it comes to the world of Final Fantasy, there can be a lot of major inconsistencies.  For instance, if you are standing on a snow covered mountain, you can stand out in the middle of the blustery weather in short sleeves and miniskirts and still feel warm...

...well, unless you try to climb the mountain.  Then you will potentially freeze to death.

Oh, and you probably shouldn't go flying either.  You never know when a vulture the size of Texas will come and attack you.

But, then again, in the world of Final Fantasy, you can go up against monsters that are eight times your size and still come out victorious.

Oh, and in the Final Fantasy world, stealing is not a crime.  It is encouraged.

And, some of the best thieves have royal ties.  Did you know that?

And the fact that you happen to be hanging around someone who killed fifty people in a short amount of time?  No red flags here!

But, yeah...calling a woman a heifer is not okay in either world.

But Final Fantasy residents go to the bathroom just like everyone else...well, provided that they end up in jail, as those seem to be the only places in the Final Fantasy world that seem to have working toilets.

Oh, and never, ever get married in the Final Fantasy world.  They never live happily ever after.

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