I've come to the conclusion that as far as loved ones are concerned, trying to understand them is much harder than writing a thesis on quantum physics, understanding the big bang theory, and mixing up the perfect shade of canary yellow at a hardware store paint counter.
Sometimes, family can drive one to drink, smoke, drive erratically, or bash one's head against an oak panel desk a half dozen times before they realize that action hurts like hell. And, don't deny it, because we all have felt that way about our relatives at some point.
You'd think that there would be some families that can avoid the in-fighting and the backstabbing. I mean, if one wants the idea of the perfect family, one needs to go no further than the Brady Bunch. Two parents, six children, and even a maid? Instant American dream! Ah, but if we peel back the layers of the Brady Bunch, you'll see that not all is as well as it seems.
Sure, Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Greg, Bobby, and Peter may have seemed like the perfect children, but that was essentially their main downfall. They seemed a little TOO perfect. Nobody got angry at each other, they definitely didn't swear at each other, and looking back on it now, does anyone know ANY family like this these days? Hell, I reckon that if I kicked a football square at my sister's nose, I probably wouldn't be alive to write this note in the first place.
And, they aren't the only ones that are like this. The Full House gang was so sweet, they'd end up giving you a cavity, and the Flanders family on The Simpsons is so religiously motivated that the children are pretty much left more isolated than the boy in the plastic bubble.
There is one thing that these fictional families have going for them though. It's also the same thing that dysfunctional families like the Bundys from Married With Children, the Connors from Roseanne, and the Simpsons from...well...the Simpsons.
They all seem to have some love and mutual respect for each other, no matter how jerky or perfect they may come across to others.
I'd like to think that my family is kind of like this. I'd like to think that although we come across to some people as trailer park trash, that we do have mutual respect and love for each other.
However, if I had to describe my own family and compare it to a family that's currently on television right now, I'd have to sing the theme song to "Family Guy".
Okay, so maybe it's kind of a stretch here. There's no talking dog, I certainly didn't try to kill my mother at toddler-age, and I certainly don't remember there being a sexual predator named Quagmire who lived down the street from us. For all I know, there very well could have been, but I never really talked to the neighbours much anyway.
Actually, come to think of it...Family Guy isn't like my family at all...LOL...
There is one member of the family that I can probably identify the most with. One member who if not for the fact that we are of different genders, we'd be like twins.
I feel like I'm the Meg Griffin of my own family on some days.
Don't get me wrong, my life isn't nearly as bad as Meg's. Meg has to suffer emotional and physical abuse from pretty much everybody around her, including her own parents. My life was never that horrible.
But, Meg was picked on a lot by her peers, and she suffered from low self-esteem because of it, and her family basically just ignored it. I was picked on a lot by my peers and suffered low self-esteem from it, but instead of my family basically ignoring it, I feel as though they were unable to help me deal with it because they weren't sure how to handle it as they hadn't seen anything quite like it before. And, that's not a slam against them at all. Just the way that I saw it.
I get the feeling that my parents tried their best, and I'll give credit where credit is due. But, I'm realizing that I don't really feel like I deserve the whole Meg Griffin treatment at all.
Part of the reason why I feel as though I identify a lot with Meg is because everyone sort of treats her like she's the black sheep of the family. Do I feel that way about my own family? Sometimes, I'll admit that I do. Because I'm much younger than everyone else, I sometimes feel like if they had such a thing as a kids table that I would be forced to eat there at holiday gatherings. I sometimes feel like if I have anything to say about myself, or if I want to comment, it's either ignored or worse, interrupted (and don't even get me started on how much I HATE IT when people interrupt my train of thought). Sometimes I feel as though it's best to just sit down, eat dinner, and take a walk in silence, just so I don't like myself get too angry over not having a voice in it all.
I'm beginning to realize that this is not a good way to go through life. You all see it. Now, I see it too.
The thing is that sometimes family members say or do (or don't say or don't do) things that may end up hurting someone that they love, and sometimes they are too blind or too caught up in their own lives, or just plain stupid to see it. And, most people don't really see what it is they are doing until it is too late.
And, sometimes, you might have to accept that no matter how much you try to see eye-to-eye with some people who you happen to share blood ties with, that they are so set in their ways that it seems almost impossible to get them to see things your way.
All you can really do is pick yourself up, and live your own life the way you want to because after all, you are the only judge of what's best for you, right?
If they want to support you in your quest to understand yourself better, that's perfectly fine. If not, as much as it might sting a bit, well, they have to do what they have to do, and you'll have to do what you have to do.
No matter how difficult a challenge it might be.
I'm at the age and frame of mind now where I don't have to impress anybody anymore, least of all people I happen to be related to. And, I made this note a bit ambiguous in nature for a reason. I didn't want to publicly humiliate anybody for one, but I am the type of person who never liked conflict, and inevitably, if I did confront people about this, it would not end very well.
That's what's great about my blog though. It's one of the only places where I can truly be myself and not be afraid of anyone's comments or getting hurt. If anyone did make a hurtful comment here, I can always delete it anyways.