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Monday, February 16, 2015

The Dirty Baker's Dozen - Wacky Police Reports

Say, have any of you ever looked in the newspaper to read those little blurbs known as police reports?  Not all newspapers publish them, but those that do make a list of all of the times that police were called on the scene of a potential crime and what time they happened.  In most cases, the crimes are petty in nature, such as a stolen bicycle, or someone being pulled over for speeding.

I know the hometown newspaper that I grew up with used to actually name intoxicated drivers that were nabbed in town, and printed their names in the newspaper!

Well, sometimes police reports don't always get it right.  Either the criminal act is something legal, the person calling the police does so to complain, or the way the report is written by the officers themselves, it makes you wonder if they are sane enough to even patrol the city streets.

And that's what this blog is all about today.  I've scourged the web for funny police reports, and I've found a baker's dozen of reports that will make you go "HUH?!?"

Credit for images goes to 11 Points,, Pinterest, and

Okay.  Here we go!

1.  For some reason, I hear the Beatles singing "Help" as I read this report.  Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody...

2.  Look at that.  Arresting someone for doing their job.  I suppose that they'll go after the ice cream man for selling unknown substances!

3.  I think that this woman has bigger problems to worry about - unless this took place in Colorado, that is.

4.  How big do they make the burritos at Walmart?!?

5.  I have heard that one of the instructors at said school is named Sarah Connor.

6.  Don't you just hate when that happens?  Fortunately, I learned how to set the time on a VCR at the age of eight.  And really, with DVD and Blu-Ray players on the market, setting the time on a VCR is becoming a lost art.

7.  Something tells me that this lady just received a rude awakening...

8.  Something more exciting than the police having an elk-human dictionary?  That a group of elk is called a gaggle!  I've heard of a gaggle of geese, but never a gaggle of elk!  I'll have to remember that one!

9.  Well, if the cat was an ocelot or a siberian tiger, that would be a good reason...

10.  Ducks - A lot tougher than you think.

11.  Just what kind of preservatives do Swanson pot pies have nowadays that would grant them the ability to walk?

12.  You know, things like that really slip your mind when things get stressful.


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