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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Kids

Well, I have quite a bit on my mind today.  So, first things first, I'll get the most important stuff out of the way.

http://www.worldvision.ca/give-a-gift/Pages/nepal-earthquake-relief.aspx?gclid=CN3n2MnBmsUCFQGNaQodEDEA4w

The site above will take you to a link where you can donate money to the people of Nepal.  Mind you, this is a Canadian site, so I have no idea if donations from outside of Canada can be accepted.  But Nepal and its surrounding nations are enduring some major hardships lately on account of that massive earthquake a few days ago, and the people there could use all the help they can get.  So, take some time and donate some money to them if you can spare it.

(NOTE:  You will need a major credit card to make a donation.)

Secondly, my thoughts go out to the people of Baltimore right now with all of the riots going on.  While I sympathize with the reason why people are protesting, I don't have any tolerance for people who destroy property and cause mischief out of anger for a decision that was made, and if you are one of those that feels the need to do this, please stop.  There are ways to protest wrongdoings without resorting to violent acts.

Baltimore, stay safe.

Anyway, onto the real point of this blog - which really doesn't have anything to do with the above postings at all - but still something that I've written about after doing a lot of thinking about where I am right now.



I want to thank those of you who cast a vote in the poll.  Your votes helped me decide what topics to talk about for the blog's anniversary month.  There's still a little bit of time to vote yet, but it appears as though the personal stories choice won.  So, for at least the next thirty-one days (and actually, my plan is to make it go a little bit longer than that), I'll be posting some personal stories about my life and what I've learned.  And, of course, I'll be throwing in a little bit of a pop culture twist.

Think of the blog entries for May as a nice refreshing glass of iced tea, and think of the lemon wedge in the glass as the pop culture twist. 



Now I want iced tea.  Be right back.

Ah.  That's better.  Now where was I?  Oh, yeah.  Personal stories.  Anyway, as I was saying, I have a really cool idea as to how to present each of my personal stories...and I'll get into more detail about that tomorrow.

For now, I have a personal confession here.  And I'd like you all to hear me out.

You know, in addition to the blog turning four years old in May, my birthday also happens to be in May.  I started this blog six days after my thirtieth birthday, and now that I am a couple of weeks away from turning thirty-four, part of me is amazed that I have kept this blogging project going for so long. 

But realizing that I will be thirty-four has sort of made me think about a lot of things right now.

Going on social media sites, and connecting with people who are my age or a couple of years older or younger, I've noticed that most of them have settled down and have gotten married and had a child or two.  Believe me, I've seen your pictures, and read your status updates!  But that's cool with me.  Truth is, I like hearing all about those kinds of stories.  In a world that is constantly peppered with bad news and doomsday prophecies, it's wonderful to hear stories of people who have done well and found success in their lives. 

Mind you, I imagine most of you sometimes want to rip your hair out with the stress that comes from raising a family, but I suppose it's a necessary part of becoming a parent.  It's one of the hardest jobs that one can do, but I can see how it can be one of the most rewarding.

Of course, I can only imagine this to be the case.  I have no experience with having a family or raising children because at nearly thirty-four years old, I am still childless.  Of course, I'm nobody's husband either, so that sort of explains why I am childless.

And believe it or not, there was once a time in which that really bothered me. 

I guess in some manner of speaking, many people seem to equate success in the amount of children one has.  And certainly for a lot of people, I can see why they would want to have children.  They would want to continue the legacy that the family began.  And most people probably do want to become parents at some point in their lives.  And seeing the vast majority of people who I went to school with having children and settling down, it did sort of make me feel left out knowing that I didn't have any of my own to share.
 
But that was then. 

To be completely honest, I've already made peace with the fact that in my lifetime, I'm probably not going to be a parent.  At least, not right at this moment.

And I'm fine with that.

Let's face it.  I don't exactly have an easy time taking care of myself a lot of the time.  I mean, sure, I do have financial responsibility and I probably could handle the day-to-day aspects of taking care of a child.  I did after all become an uncle at fifteen years old and did a lot of child sitting when I was in my teens and early 20s.

But emotionally speaking?  Yeah, I'm definitely not ready.

I'm nowhere near where I want to be professionally, and I still have a long way to go before I even can consider myself even in the right frame of mind to enter a relationship, let alone father a child with somebody. 

I suppose it comes down to the whole pronoun that goes something like this.  If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else.  And, as most of you know by now, I am still trying to figure myself out. 

The way I see it, children deserve to have parents who have got mostly everything together.  I'm not afraid to admit that I am nowhere near that yet.  Truth is, I'm just not ready to become a parent or a husband yet.

And that's perfectly okay.

I know - or I guess I should say have known - some rather rude people who seem to believe that success is measured in how perfect your children are, and that if people don't have children, they are selfish.  I actually think that it is more selfish to bring a child into the world for the purpose of keeping a marriage together, or to solely get benefits from the government, but I suppose that's just my feeling on the matter. 

And keep in mind that some people are unable to have children biologically.  Think about that before you call someone selfish for not having children.

I suppose that this has ended up being a whole lot of rambling, but the bottom line is this.  I'm single.  I'm childless.  And, I'm perfectly okay with that.  Maybe in a few years time, I'll think differently.  Maybe ten years from now, I'll be trying to write this blog while simultaneously trying to get two little ones into bed.  And maybe I go the rest of my life not having known fatherhood.

Whatever life brings me...I'll try to be ready for it.

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