April 8, 2015
I'm a big fan of 1980's music. If a
song comes on the radio and was released between 1979 and 1990, chances are I'm
probably going to love it.
I mean, I may be one of the only ones who may
feel this way, but some of the music of the eighties was fun, original (in most
cases) and creative. And, with MTV actually showing music videos during
this time period, we ended up seeing a lot of fun music videos.
Like this 1980 hit from the Pointer Sisters:
Or, this 1983 song from Bananarama:
Also from 1983, we have this Kajagoogoo ditty:
You may also notice that all three of these
music clips have some sort of connection with each other. And, no, it's
not one of those 6 Degrees Of Separation thingies where Ruth Pointer and
Siobhan Fahey shared a hairdresser and Keren Woodward once had an affair with
Limahl. It's much simpler than that.
Heck, I even quoted Kajagoogoo lyrics in the blog
title.
The theme is...shy guys.
No...Not quite.
It is true that I'm a shy guy. But, not in
the way you might think.
Granted, considering that I have kept up a
blog for nearly four years now, some of you may be surprised by that face. But online, I'm a bit more open than I am in
the real world.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not THAT open.
I don't hand out my social insurance number, my debit card PIN number, my cell
phone number, my address, or what my underwear preference is, because frankly,
it's none of your business. But, I have talked a lot about things that
have been on my chest that needed to get out. The abuse I suffered in
school. The constant struggles with self-worth. Things like that.
But, that's in the world according to A POP
CULTURE ADDICT'S GUIDE TO LIFE. In the real world...you know, the one
filled with actual people and places and things and anything else that can
possibly appear on a Wheel of Fortune puzzle board? I'm someone completely
different.
Here I can pretty much engage in conversation
with just about anybody and not have the fear of getting rejected or laughed at
or ridiculed by others (and if I do, I can just block 'em). I'm not that
confident elsewhere. I'm getting better at it though, but it's always
been a struggle.
But, not in the way you might think.
I've always had a problem with face to face
meetings. Trying to find the right words to say to carry on conversations
in face-to-face settings has always been a challenge. Writing a blog has
always been easier for me because I have a bit of time to accurately choose my
words, and think about what I'm saying. As a result, I am able to
function as a literate adult provided the world I am in is one that favours
writing as opposed to speaking.
Putting that into practice talking with
people...is hard. Especially if it's someone that I don't know.
If I'm, say, chatting with a family member,
close friend, or co-worker, I find it quite easy, because they know how I roll
most days. But, you get me in a situation where I'm meeting someone I've
never met before, I clam up.
Well, okay, maybe I don't clam up, but I tend
to stutter. I repeat words. For all I know, what comes out of my
mouth is pure gibberish because I'm thinking so hard about trying not to say
the wrong thing that I end up exactly saying the wrong thing. I can
pretty much guarantee you that I lost out on a couple of job opportunities
because I completely flubbed the job interview to the point of no return.
It certainly made me wish that all job interviews were conducted through
e-mail, discussion forums or passenger pigeon notes, but realistically, that's
not meant to be.
Ideally, I know what the problem is.
It's my overall reluctance to involve myself in social situations because of a
fear of well...rejection, or getting laughed at, or being totally
ignored. I've been in many situations where I've been invited to parties
or dances, and I've been the guy who basically leaves two hours before everyone
else, because it's really awkward being there. I'm sure all of you can
relate to being the wallflower of a party...well...years ago, I was exactly
that. And, because of my tendency to be shy, I pretty much shunned social
events to the point that I was likely about two or three stages away from
becoming a total hermit crab (a.k.a. an isolated grouchy person).
At least I recognize the problem and I do
want to take steps to try and not be so shy around people. I'm at the
point now where I am just as deserving of a rich, fulfilling social life as
anybody else in this world, and I'm at the point where I want people in the
real world to experience the person that I know I am.
Then maybe I won't be so much the shy boy.
Anything's possible if you believe in
yourself enough, right? Maybe it's time I try believing in myself more.
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