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Monday, April 06, 2015

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby...

Got your attention yet?

Don't think that this is a belated April Fools Day joke or that I am joking around. This note is all about the subject of sex.

Controversial enough for you yet?

You know, there's some people who get totally creeped out at the mere mention of the word. Not me. I'm open to discussing it. Mind you, I won't go into great detail about my own sex life, because, well, frankly it's none of your business what I do behind closed doors. I'm talking more of a general sense.

But, just going back to what I's definitely a subject that people seem to have polarizing opinions of. There's some people who are so prudish that the mere mention of the word just makes them turn as red as a beet and want to crawl under a rock, claiming that they didn't just hear what they THOUGHT they heard. There's also some people who would babble on about it at all hours of the day, and have absolutely no shame in it. I'm kind of in the middle ground on that. I don't get offended by sex talk, but wouldn't talk about it all that much. I mean, you know the saying...the more you talk about it, the more deprived you supposedly are of it.

Of course, here I am writing a whole note ON sex, so I suppose I'm subject to having a lot of opinions from others flying my way...but, hey. That's fine. If I didn't want commentary about it, I'd just disable the comment feature.

Sex is something that all of us are going to be faced with sooner or later. Some people have healthy opinions about it, and have a very mature way of dealing with it. On the flipside, some people are horndogs. Believe me, I went to high school with a few of them. Whatever your stance is, it's something that we all have to deal with.

Take the George Michael song "I Want Your Sex", where the lyrics state that "sex is natural, sex is good, not everybody does it, but everybody should. Sex is natural, sex is fun, sex is best when it's one on one". Yep...good ol' monogamy. The most common and acceptable form of it.

Of course, counteracting that point are shows like "Sister Wives" or "Big Love". Granted, one is a reality show and the other one a scripted (but entertaining) drama series, but they both deal with polygamous relationships and marriages. Where one man has two or more wives, or where one woman has two or more husbands.

As far as polygamy goes, I'm not going to make judgment calls. Clearly, the polygamist lifestyle works for them in some manner, and I certainly am not going to judge whatever people do behind closed doors, because what happens behind those doors should stay there. I will say that as far as I'm concerned, there's only one team I would want to be on. I prefer the idea of monogamy. One man and one woman (or if you're LGBTQ, one man and one man, or one woman and one woman, etc). I mean, for one, would it not get confusing if you had more than one spouse? I mean, how awkward could it potentially be if you're a guy in bed with wife number one, and you accidentally call out the name of wife number three? How mortifying! And, I can someone tell someone that they love them with everything in them, and yet be married to two or more other people at the same time. Baffling, I know!

Like I said, nothing against people who practice polygamy, but it ain't my scene.

There's also the topic of promiscuity and general assumptions based on it. A guy has sex with a girl in high school, the guy is declared a hero, and macho. A girl has sex with a guy in high school, and she's labeled a slut, or a whore. It's a double standard, and frankly, it sickens me that in 2015, that double standard still exists. I think it totally needs to change, because it's not fair. It's insulting, is what it is.

There's another topic that's related to the main subject that this note is about, and in some ways, it could be considered a taboo type subject to discuss. It's something that all of us are born with. Most of us will likely lose it at some point in our lives, and those who still have it are sometimes ridiculed because of it.

The something that I'm talking about is virginity.

I just want to note that before I go on, I must make a couple of things clear. I'm not religious by any means. I know some people have used their faith to lead them through how they interact in relationships, and that's cool. I'm just not one of them. These are my own ideas and thoughts that I've had for a long time, without any influence from a church, people, or anything else. It may prove to be controversial to some of you, but I always wanted to talk about this subject with rational, calm, cool people. I'd think that the people in my life certainly fair warning if I come across as a little bit preachy, because really, I don't care what people do between closed doors...just offering up my own food for thought based on what I've seen.

The subject of virginity is one that is often joked about, but rarely taken seriously. Especially in these current times, where movies like "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" have become box office successes. A lot of people really enjoyed the film, and I'll admit to laughing at it (particularly the waxing scene). But, that was a fictional movie with fictional characters. In the real world, is that an excuse to belittle and make fun of someone for being a virgin?

I don't think so. At least not so it becomes hurtful.

Not that I want to delve into my own experiences (because as I said before, it's really none of your business), but personally, I'm a little ticked off at the constant pressure the people are given to basically lose their virginities. It's actually kind of disgusting. I'm sure you've seen it first hand. Some people I know of who I attended school with lost theirs before they reached the age to drive, and really, that's their choice. But, for some of them to turn around and tell others in their peer group that they're pathetic if they don't lose theirs by a specific age, or that they're doing something wrong if they can't give it me, that's absolutely appalling.

First of all, who dictates what the proper age is to lose their virginity? Is it 14? For some, yes. Is it 25? For some yes. Is it 67? Yes, I'm sure someone out there in this world has waited sixty-seven years. And, you know what? More power to 'em!

You want to know who the pathetic ones are? The ones who make the ludicrous claims that if they don't lose it by the time they reach a certain age, they're pretty much never going to lose it. Like, seriously, how ballsy can some people be?

You want my honest opinion? I applaud people who can hold on to it. I don't find them weak, or pathetic, or incapable of human emotions (and yeah, sadly enough, I have heard virgins described as that by somebody who clearly had one too many at the bar). Quite the opposite, actually.

There's a lot of pressure for teens out there. Peer pressure. Media. Music. All of these make the temptation all that much stronger, and as a result so many people end up doing it a lot sooner than they may be emotionally mature enough to handle. Now, I'm not suggesting that everyone just rushes right out to the nearest jewelry store and get fitted for purity rings. I'm just saying that people should really (and I mean REALLY) be able to look inside themselves, and decide for themselves what they really want before they do something (or someone) they may regret later.

Whether you're fifteen, twenty-five, thirty, fifty, ninety-nine, who cares? Why should you let ANYONE dictate what's best for you, and what is socially acceptable? It's your life, you decide what you want to do.

I certainly won't make fun of someone just because they haven't done it yet. S/he may have their reasons, and really, they should be respected. Anyone who doesn't respect them? They aren't worth your time.

I don't think anyone should engage in anything that they aren't ready for. This includes love, relationships, sex. And, certainly people should never be subjected to abuse or jeers because they have their own beliefs in the subject.

I just know that we all develop at different paces and we all have different lives to live. Who is anyone else to judge how we live ours?

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